Red Nights

Dear Reader, WHO is Generation Y? Social Media has become part of our daily life and while most individuals of my generation — the so called generation Y — proof to be enhanced by technological efforts and a highly streamlined lifestyle, I find myself lost between social media channels, parties and traditional journalism. Why do […]

Dear Reader, WHO is Generation Y? Social Media has become part of our daily life and while most individuals of my generation — the so called generation Y — proof to be enhanced by technological efforts and a highly streamlined lifestyle, I find myself lost between social media channels, parties and traditional journalism. Why do I have to be online at all time?

Desperate Characters

Image Terry Vlisidis | via

It’s no secret that our behavior changed since the invention of the first computer, later on the first smartphone and the usage of multiple social platforms. It seems we’ve evolved and then made a step back in time. While it became harder to focus and concentrate on facts or essential details, the whole world seemed to have fastened their seatbelts for a rocket flight into the unknown. As we discuss the latest weekend and its virtual proof on our phones, something essential got lost in space: the moment itself and its value to spend it entirely lived. I recently watched the series „You“ based on the eponymous novel by Caroline Kepnes — which is by the way, a series of poorly written rather sinister knockoffs from the book series „gossip girl“ by Cecily von Ziegesaar — a good hook to explain this recent problem on a more or less realistic level. 

Similar to gossip girl, the series’ plot is about the disconnection between real emotions and the urge to be seen, in every little second of one’s fabulous Millennial life, which is of course documented all over the internet, tending to cross border of individual private sphere. Following their dreams, which has been told to be easy for millions of young people — especially in America — seems impossible in a web of dating apps, friends with overdramatic narcissistic disorders and the attempt to find love. The main character’s — literarily referred to as „desperate characters“ — are on their way to hell in a literal sense. The female character finally falls for her lover, just to die for her success while writing her fist crime story. By all sinistry in my point, the fear lies deeper. What will ever fill the void of a society, which is permanently globally connected, but on an emotional level disconnected or only able to display streamlined aspects of themselves?

Image Lloyd Dirks | via

After months staying home and working on german paper work to settle my personal future, programming a new website and finding creative or spiritual ways to get out of an unlikely system, I finally had a note from my guarding spirits. I got an invitation to come over and watch some club history at the weekly mongay night showing curated cultural movies and documentaries at the famous Kino International. Phillip, originally Parisian, is in the city for over twenty-five years and an extravagant icon of french society and part of the even bigger, cultural one in Berlin. I adore him for our inspirational fashion talks and his hyper realness, while he introduces me to everyone in the room, like a loving mother introduces her daughter on a cotillion. Knowing to be understood and loved by a different kind of Berliner makes it easier and even more stylish to survive my seven years itch

The beautiful and damned

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.

Helen Keller

In a small Coven, like the fashion parties, it’s hard to get recognized either ways, while everyone else’s life is documented on a stream. Without the right clothes and style, people must shield themselves with their phones the second after entering the circle, to show their powerful presence, cursed to fit in this image of the perfect life. Every time channelling this circle — in every sense of meaning — the biggest challenge comes to me with the struggling question, why I encourage myself so hard to live offline and work online? After working the whole day in a chic cafe and being nice to customers, I took a glimpse through the window, before I entered the room, with the unpleasant feeling of still being the outsider. Luckily someone else arrived, in shape of Devon, just a second after I did. Knowing her for a few years as photographer and stylist, she’s perfectly gossipy in a refreshing manner and emotionally very own signature, which means she’s one of the witches with the keys to the gates. 

Switching between being online and offline in a room full of certainly professionals in that field, feels awkward after banning yourself to the desk, especially even a 30’s birthday party for the inner circle is branded and you’ve become part of an advertising campaign without being asked. In obligation of me parenting a dog nowadays, the main act for me was a — unfortunately brief, but lovely — birthday chat with the host of honour herself an carrie-esque Influencer, and Berliner. Summoning it, I was impressed how grown up the party seemed, at least in a sense of personal branding. Rebranding the term Influencer and making them humans with ideas or visions and of course, the aim for a bit glitter in one self’s live. Are those the next Anna Wintour’s? In a very conspirative sense, the whole event was settled to be something almost metropolitan, while the guest list not just contained friends or follower, but also quite well known characters, curated in this Mitte Gallery with a dance floor in the basement. But my evening wasn’t over after a few selfies.

Image Luca Bravo | via

What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me…

Image Joshua K. Jackson | via

After being socially known in Mitte’s gay community for the pumping up beauty or the dying swan, I couldn’t resist to jump over to the other side of the street into my old stage, before facing reality again and work online. It turned out, being in shape and at least a bit overdressed is still a good sign to get some approval by your own audience. While it was never about the attitude in the gay scene, tight pants and a slightly dark look seems to work fine for a free drink or some drugs, if you want to. Entering this specific basement, I never missed one day without judgment while walking down these stairs. But while having too much fun of letting myself slip away for a moment and just listening, turned out that I got proved wrong. You can do the same mistakes over and over again, with a different result. Not having any expectations made the difference and I had found a way to truly connect for the moment, on an emotional as much as a rational level. Being born in Germany is still something which is slightly misinterpreted within historical events. Even discussing racism, which is still around us, made me wonder, how do we ever close that particular void in different personal realities to overcome the world wide gap

Image Alexander Acea | via

In fact, the joint I shared with some guys on the street, enabled my online button and made me talk. Breaking down gay conversations, its often about judgment and how to overcome it in a humorous way. Having this moment of total untidiness, at the same time discussing almost philosophical matters with a group of international characters and a Cocktailglass in my hand made me realize why I love being offline in this City. 

As I left the party earlier, thinking about the only thing possibly bothering me — a slow subway — I ended up reading local. Wondering how big the gap can be between two other realities, somehow undefined to like or hate each other, it’s in this certain air of the next subway. Enhanced with inspiration and new faces, riding the subway instead of taking a cab to drive home is the only fact to really cry about. The city has its weird touch of the unknown as well, if you change stations on your way home into the your own reality as a writer.  You start to read between the lines and see through the patters of many personal columns within their looks

The party is over

Image Ian Dolley | via

The disapproval for being gay and fine with it, seems quite annoying for the environment still, especially heading outside the ring. Not that I want to judge too much myself, but for me, nothing is more annoying then listening to stranger’s slightly retarded conversions, while  trying to make your phone work and listen to music. As part of this generation Y — I always ask myself — why isn’t it working with me? But while Berlin is a mix and blend, I feel weirdly fine taking the train home and watch other drunks nurturing, after I finally managed to speed up the volume. And while I walk the dog, I finally realized: the party is over. △